MINDFULNESS PARENTING STRATEGIES IN BUILDING POSITIVE FAMILY PARENTING AT AL-IKHLAS KONGGO KINDERGARTEN, DELI SERDANG REGENCY

- Children who were cared for by applying mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting give more to their friends, then their thinking was broader and more mature, able to control their emotions, but if the child was angry, then it was greater with his friends who got angry first. Children like this had a positive influence on the environment and their friends, children were respected and many of their friends like to be with them, not even just children, parents were also sympathetic to children because the child's character reflects good behavior. The results of the study show that the mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting is that parents show affection for themselves and their children, parents want to listen with full attention, self-regulation in parenting and aspects of affection for themselves and children. Parents who have a mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting will avoid stress, social anxiety, increase satisfaction and feel calm. Obstacles in implementing mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting, there are obstacles, namely the difficulty in managing emotions for early childhood who are not yet emotionally stable. then the obstacle faced by parents is the difficulty of managing time between parenting and work.


INTRODUCTION
Family is the closest environment to children.As family members, parents have an important responsibility in children's education, so that it can be said that parents in the family are the first and foremost educators.The family also has an important role in building the character and emotional development of children (Lidyasari, 2013).Therefore, parents in the family must improve their skills and knowledge in education and parenting.
Parenting is the habit of parents, fathers and mothers, in leading, nurturing and guiding children in the family.Nurturing in the sense of guarding by caring for and educating him.Guiding by helping, training and so on.Parenting style is a pattern of behavior that is applied to children and is relatively consistent from time to time.This behavior pattern can be felt by children and can have negative or positive effects.These methods and patterns will certainly differ from one family to another.Parenting patterns are also a description of the attitudes and behavior of parents and children in interacting and communicating during parenting activities (Djamarah, 2014).One that influences children is the formation of parenting patterns built by parents.Parenting will make children aware of what to do and what not to do.This includes how to love each understanding explaining mindfulness parenting is individual emotional intelligence to recognize their feelings and the feelings of others, motivate themselves and manage emotions well in themselves and in relationships with others (Nahwa, 2019).
The pattern of parenting without mindfulness strategy that occurs in early childhood can give attitudes to oneself, namely regression, temperature, emotional outbursts, impaired self-confidence and feelings of resentment towards siblings.While attitudes toward siblings without mindfulness parenting can be in the form of aggression, not wanting to share with siblings, not wanting to help siblings, complaining about siblings, dominating siblings and negative models for siblings.Attitudes towards other people, namely bad behavior aimed at people outside the home such as cousins, helpers, teachers and others (Kusumo, 2012).
According to Yuliani (2011) changes in attitude and behavior with the presence of mindfulness parenting that can be shown by children include: a. Children will love each other b.Encourage children not to behave aggressively c.Keep children away from ego traits and feel self-winning d.Verbally want others to make peace e. Children can control themselves f.Mutual understanding of feelings together g.Be empathetic.
Meanwhile, Khodizah (2016) argued that behavior with presence mindfulness parenting that children can demonstrate, including: a.Each child can compete healthily to advance the child's progress.b.Children who receive less attention from their families can be influenced by friends who receive mindfulness parenting from their parents.c.Children can guide their friends from negative things.d.Stages of children's development both physically and emotionally that can affect the process of maturity and attention to each other will grow better.e. Children can give chatter to their parents so they can control their emotions.f.Chances are, the child will get attention from the people around him through a positive assessment.g.Family dynamics towards children will have a positive impact.h.Parents' thoughts of being angry, emotional and so on for children will turn into education for children.i. Don't have wasted time just to indulge in emotion, but turn it into a positive time.j.Parents are spared from stress because children do not behave in a way that bothers parents.k.Children become more mature and independent.
Based on this description, it can be concluded that the presence of mindfulness parenting in children fosters a good attitude for the growth and development of children, selfish and antagonistic attitudes will be avoided because the family is used to avoiding such behavior.

RESEARCH METHOD
This research is qualitative research with research characteristics that are descriptive of events or events that are factual, conducted by survey, are seeking information and carried out in detail, identify problems to obtain justification of ongoing conditions and practices, and describe subjects that are being managed by certain group.The method used in this study is a qualitative method where the direct data source is in the form of a natural situation setting and the researcher is a key instrument, descriptive in nature, emphasizing the meaning of the process rather than the result, data analysis is inductive in nature, and meaning is the main concern in the research approach.This research was conducted at Al-Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten, Deli Serdang Regency, precisely at Jalan Binjai Km 13.5 Gg.Horas XII Konggo, Sei Semayang Village, Sunggal District, Deli Serdang Regency.The time needed to conduct research was May-June 2023.The main source of this research was the parents of children aged 5-6 years, while the informants were 1 teacher, and the principal as the main data source, this was done through interviews.While secondary data or supporting data were obtained through documentation studies and direct observation of children about mindfulness parenting strategies in building family care at Al-Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten, Deli Serdang Regency.The data collection techniques used in this study were: a. Observation.Data observation was done by making observations on research subjects or phenomena that occured.In this case, the researcher made direct observations with the aim of obtaining data regarding mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting for the family.b.Interview.This guideline was made before the interview activities were carried out and served as a guide during the interview so that it could run smoothly and provided data regarding mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive family parenting.c.Documentation.In this case the researcher used the documentation method to find authentic data as a complement, including to obtain data on facilities and infrastructure, organizational structure, number of teachers, employees and children, and the general section of existing data, as well as about mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting families.In taking documentation, researchers used cameras as authentic evidence in conducting research.
This research used qualitative case study analysis.As the main instrument in qualitative research, the researcher participated in a real way in real situations, visited the subjects and spent time in a participatory way with them, the step was to examine the existing data.Then researchers could draw certain conclusions from the results of their understanding and understanding based on assumptions.As for the steps in analyzing the data used in this study as stated by Sugiyono, namely reducing data, presenting data, and drawing conclusions.a. Data reduction, reducing data means taking the main part or the essence of the data obtained, thus, reduced data would provide a clearer picture, making it easier for researchers to collect further data and looked for it when needed.b.Data presentation, after the data has been reduced, at this stage the data is presented in the form of narrative text, namely the mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting for families at Al-Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten, then the data was arranged systematically in relation to everything that gave a real picture.c.The technique of checking the validity of the findings or data in this study used a triangulation technique.Triangulation technique was a data validity checking technique that utilizes something other than the data for checking purposes or as a comparison of the data, so that the data obtained was truly valid.d.Drawing Conclusions, the third step in data analysis was drawing conclusions and verification.The initial conclusions put forward are tentative/temporary, and were still in doubt.Therefore, the conclusions were always verified during the research and change if there was no strong supporting evidence at the data collection stage.

A. RESULT
Based on the results of observations that researchers conducted from 1 to 5 May 2023 at Al-Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten, Deli Serdang Regency, researchers found several parents who had implemented mindfulness parenting strategies with positive parenting from their parents.This can be seen from the attitudes and daily activities shown by children in their daily activities.These characters become the researcher's observation notes which the researcher then communicates with teachers and school principals.The same data that the researchers obtained was in line with the opinion of the teachers and principals that the five children were raised in positive parenting by their parents and families.
The mindfulness parenting strategies applied by parents to their children can also be seen from the attitudes and behavior of children in everyday life.The results of observations in the environment where the children lived strengthened the research that the children were cared for with positive parenting patterns, and with mindfulness parenting strategies, even though their parents had unknowingly done this.
Based on the results of these observations, the effort to conduct interviews researchers develop in the next stage to obtain the data that researchers need.a.The strategy of mindfulness parenting in building positive parenting for families at Al-Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten, Deli Serdang Regency.
The pattern of parenting done by parents is a consistent parental effort in caring for and guiding children from birth to adulthood.Attitudes and behavior of parents and children in interacting and communicating during parenting each parent has a different parenting style.That's the difference that parents from SA, Mrs. AR make, even though their two children are girls, and positive parenting for their children is done through mindfulness parenting."I do spoil my youngest child a little so he wants what he wants as long as it's within reasonable limits, and I don't have a lot of demands and strict control over my child.I believe my child will be able to improve his abilities and confidence if I apply positive parenting to my child.This parenting style is not the first time I have applied it to my children, I have also applied it to my two older siblings.Thank God, the sister is now growing independently and can have achievements in various fields, even though it is still within the scope of her environment and school.Through positive parenting, my husband and I practice patience with children, a technique that I use as in Islamic teachings that "Allah is with those who are patient", so we are sure that by being patient, Allah will make things easy for us.This concept is a concept that is always taught by many teachers, parents, scholars, especially in Islam who have also been advised how to educate and teach children.Therefore, we always use this concept even though there may be similarities with other concepts, but this is how our parents taught us to be patient, and thankfully my husband and I are in line with such a concept".
Basically, positive parenting always supports what children want to do, parents give freedom to children to do what they want to do with little parental control and role.This is true for parents with positive parenting, but the lack of control in children gives children an attitude of independence.
Parents only control children by not limiting children's movements, but behavior and other things are still under the supervision of parents as educators and are responsible for their children.Directions from parents tend to approach children through personal approaches and communication with children by providing understanding to children, so that children can grow independently.This certainly pays attention to children, as the results of interviews with parents of SI, Mrs. KU that: "If I always give gifts, then the children will be happy, just keep doing everything independently.Gifts to children are not really given, but children tend to get gifts from the child's independent attitude and doing their activities.Children often get prizes, especially when activities take the form of events, both in the environment and in youth organizations.However, the rules still exist, but if the child violates the rules, the parents do not give punishment to the child except through a personal approach and building communication with the child, by opening the child's mindset and horizons according to the child's own developmental age.For example, the efforts made when the child utters dirty words, the mother will give advice and understanding to the child so that the child does not repeat these words" (Results of interview on June, 5 th 2023 at 11:00 a.m.).
In general, parents with positive parenting tend to be tolerant of children.The definition of tolerance actually has limits.This means that the tolerance given by parents to their children has limits, as long as it is not harmful to the child, parents will always give freedom to children.However, if it exceeds the limit, understanding and understanding will be given to children according to the level of early childhood understanding.Parents do not put too much demand on their children for what is expected of them, but continue to provide encouragement and motivation through a system of personal approaches to children, so that children become independent, and get a good understanding of what parents expect of their children.This is done by parents with positive parenting, with the aim that the child can be independent without any pressure and coercion, but it is well instilled in the child, especially in giving punishment, as stated in an interview with Mrs. MD, parents of Y that: "I just reprimand children with older siblings to do school work, OK? Usually the answer is "Yes mother".I always speak softly and never get tired of reminding my children and not emotionally" (Results of interview on June, 6 th 2023 at 11:00 a.m.).
Based on the researcher's interview with Mrs. NI that the positive parenting he applied at home to his son AR was always pampered.According to Mrs. SE: "I always spoil my child in the sense that I keep an eye on him, I really don't like it when my child is bullied by his friends, so I will definitely be angry with his friends.My child really doesn't feel confident, because everyone has to be a mother" (Results of interview on June, 6 th 2023 at 11.30 a.m.).
The statement of the parents above means that the child is not given the freedom to explore himself so that his capacity is hampered.this is in accordance with the interview with the class teacher who said that child A was actually capable but hampered because his parents were too indulgent.
Based on the results of the research that the researchers conducted, the researchers can conclude that positive parenting towards mindfulness parenting strategies in children of Al-Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten in supervision of children is generally the same.As stated by Mrs. LS, who takes care of her children while working, but where she works is not far from her office: "Every time I go to work I accompany my child to school, except for Saturdays, which I have off, sometimes my children ask me to accompany them.In my one day supervision of the child, I will see how the child's daily life is, then if my child does activities that are not good, I remind my child "Mother doesn't want a sibling like this if a sibling is like this you no longer want to accompany her, mother will tell her to the teacher or grandmother if the younger sibling doesn't behave properly, then you'll go to jail.Then in front of my child I tell the teacher if there is a child's behavior that is not right or to his grandmother if he is already at home please tell me, if my child does not behave well I will take him to the police station.Thank God I didn't receive a bad report, or when I accompanied my child, I didn't find any behavior that wasn't right, usually my child would ask the family if I, Mother, or husband if I wanted to do things that weren't right would be asked mother like this is okay" (Results of the interview on June, 6 th 2023 at 11.20 a.m.).Furthermore, according to Mrs. LS further emphasized that: "The supervision that I do is that I need the help of other people if the child is not under my supervision, so I don't have to get angry and then have no emotions.Apart from that, I still do regular communication, for example, when my child comes home from school on the way, I always ask "what did you do earlier", or my child immediately tells me what he does either at home after coming home from work or at night with his family at family room.If there are things that are not good, the children always complain to their father or grandmother, but the mother and husband still report them to me, because if the husband gets emotional quickly, if I get emotional I have to solve it, therefore the husband always reports to me so that the child does not scolded and not full of emotion in educating and teaching children" (Results of interview on June, 6 th 2023 at 11.30 a.m.).
The positive parenting style of parents at Al Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten in implementing mindfulness parenting strategies is communicative with affection.Through affection for children, parents with mindfulness parenting skills will feel the desire to meet the child's appropriate needs and provide comfort when the child may feel difficult.Children of parents who have parenting mindfulness skills will feel the positive influence of parental support.Affection is part of humanity, which when applied in parenting can enable parents to adopt a gentler, more forgiving attitude.
Compassion in mindfulness parenting avoids self-blame when parental goals are not achieved.However, it allows rebuilding relationships in pursuit of goals as parents.Developing affection in the family, will give birth to children who care for each other, for the environment, for animals, for all phenomena that are not acceptable in society.By applying love in parenting, parents continuously educate children who have a loving heart as well, so that harsh sentences such as anger and yelling at children, including early childhood so that children follow parental instructions and children can respect the work that has been done parents, as well as the efforts that have been made by parents towards their children so that children can carry out their duties in an orderly manner.So, parents can control their emotions and turn them into positive energy.
Meanwhile, an interview with Mrs. YY, regarding the mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting that she applies to her child said: "Parents with a mindfulness parenting strategy must teach their children how to express themselves, talk about their feelings and ultimately build children's skills in self-control JOLADU: Journal of Language and Education E-ISSN 2963-2773, Vol.2 No. 2, August 2023 DOI:10.58738/joladu.v2i1.40856 as an individual capacity to regulate their emotions, thoughts and behavior to suit the goals and environmental conditions.This individual's ability to delay and change behavior where the individual tries to resist unwanted impulses with the aim of controlling existing behavior.Factors that influence it are individual judgments by observing their own behavior to see the quality and quantity of their behavior, as well as comparing the suitability of behavior with personal standards, comparing it with other people's norms or standards, then making an assessment based on whether a behavior is important or not.Self-response is an evaluation carried out by individuals both positively and negatively.External factors that affect self-regulation is the environment.The environment will influence the formation of individual standards.With wider interactions, it will lead to developments in individual self-regulation because it carries out a process of comparing environmental standards with what is in them".
On the other hand, an interview with Mrs. R., regarding the mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting that she applies to her children, said: "Compassion for self and children as an emotion that represents the desire to alleviate the suffering of other people or creatures, namely by listening to their children by focusing on what the children convey.self-acceptance and children without punishment by accepting the uniqueness of the child completely and unconditionally and accepting the abilities and shortcomings of parents in raising children while still trying to be the right parent.Emotional awareness of yourself and your child is to recognize the emotional state of yourself and your child and respond to these emotions appropriately.Self-regulation in parenting in sorting out the responses given to children based on considerations of affection for themselves and children, and parents can avoid blaming themselves when goals as parents are not achieved".
The results of the study show that mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting are that parents show affection for themselves and their children, parents want to listen attentively, self-regulation in parenting and aspects of affection for themselves and children.Parents who have a mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting will avoid stress, social anxiety, increase satisfaction and feel calm.b.Obstacles in building positive family parenting at Al-Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten through mindfulness parenting strategies.Parents who have mindfulness parenting skills in building positive parenting are able to listen to children with full attention so that children will feel valued and be able to convey it freely.In addition, parents are able to sort out the responses given to children by considering them first.Parents will convey messages of emotion and hope to children without punishing children.
Based on an interview with Mrs. SIK, regarding the obstacles in implementing mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting for her children, she said: "The big obstacle is the difficulty of holding back emotions when children are doing things that are not good, and I direct them to my subordinates in the office.If so, my subordinates in the office become the target.Sometimes office problems also bring me home, so it hits the child" (Results of interview on June, 7 th 2023 at 09:00 a.m.).
Basically positive parenting can improve parenting for children better, reduce conflict between parents and children, reduce stress due to parenting, strengthen the JOLADU: Journal of Language and Education E-ISSN 2963-2773, Vol.2 No. 2, August 2023 DOI:10.58738/joladu.v2i1.40857 experience of parenting, and increase social and emotional support, because basically humans can think and regulate their behavior because of mutual influences between individuals and the environment, where parents learn to recognize, understand, and accept children's feelings and resolve conflicts using a democratic approach, not blaming, and avoiding stress, and feeling the burdens of life feel light.However, not in the early days implementing a mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting for children, as stated by Mrs. KS, namely: "In the early days of practicing patience, the obstacle that I felt in caring for children was tremendous stress, so I often cried in the room when I felt irritated in my heart, because my child cannot be scolded, cannot be hit, pinched and so on.Because the father was angry with me when his son was angry, then my mother-in-law was also angry, because at that time our first child was still living next to the in-laws' house, so anything would be heard by the in-laws and would report to the father.However, as time went on with some advice and parenting patterns, I began to switch to not being stressed and implementing mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting for children.Thank God, until my third child no longer feels that way, and my stress is gone, my emotions are replaced with positive things" (Results of interview on June, 7 th 2023 at 10:00 a.m.).
Based on this description, there were obstacles in implementing mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting, namely the difficulty in managing emotions for early childhood who were not yet emotionally stable, then the obstacle faced by parents was the difficulty of managing time between parenting and work.

B. DISCUSSION
Based on the results of interviews and observations of researchers that there were 5 parents with positive parenting patterns at Al Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten.Indirectly, Al Ikhlas Konggo Kindergarten applied a mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting.Because in childhood like this, teachers were required to be patient.Basically, parents who applied mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting could be seen from their characteristics, namely parents wanted to listen to their children by focusing on what the child said without giving sanctions to children, parents understood and accepted the uniqueness of children completely without conditions and accepted abilities as well as the lack of parents in raising children while still trying to be the best parents.While the characteristics of children by implementing mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting when interacting with friends were able to use their emotions or control their emotions.If the child was not happy, then the child would left his friends and looked for games or other friends.
Children who were cared for by applying mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting give more to their friends, then their thinking was broader and more mature, able to control their emotions, but if the child was angry, then it was greater with his friends who got angry first.Children like this had a positive influence on the environment and their friends, children were respected and many of their friends like to be with them, not even just children, parents were also sympathetic to children because the child's character reflects good behavior.
In the learning process, the teacher could make children by applying mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting to be role models and then became children who were liked by many friends.So that the teacher paid more attention to the child, especially when the child was not present there were many children who would lose.Self-compassion and children can avoid blaming yourself when your goals as parents are not achieved.Therefore, self-acceptance and children without judgment, as well as love for self and children are very necessary.Self-love and children can be caused by positive parenting programs that can be developed in the family.Being able to recognize your own and your child's emotions when interacting is very important, because you are able to use the emotions you are experiencing to make the right decisions and actions.This is also related to intelligence and emotional maturity of parents.Parents must understand every feeling that arises in themselves from every experience, and not be easily influenced.

CONCLUSION
Based on the results of the research that the researchers have done, it can be concluded in this study, namely: 1.The results of the study show that the mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting is that parents show affection for themselves and their children, parents want to listen with full attention, self-regulation in parenting and aspects of affection for themselves and children.Parents who have a mindfulness parenting strategy in building positive parenting will avoid stress, social anxiety, increase satisfaction and feel calm.
2. Obstacles in implementing mindfulness parenting strategies in building positive parenting, there are obstacles, namely the difficulty in managing emotions for early childhood who are not yet emotionally stable.then the obstacle faced by parents is the difficulty of managing time between parenting and work.